the festival me

As i live my days of the pleasantries of existence, i often wonder if i was not as cordial, not as approachable would i still be me.
Also what i do every day is that the real me, or have i fashioned my self so well that i barely recognise the really me.
days go by in my pretend life and at some point i know i will blow but will that be a little to late and till un called for.
i need to change now before its all lost, I need to be me now before i lose the idea of me

its been so long i don't know me anymore

the strangness of the fact being i have lost myself again.
Its weird but every time i get a grasp of exactly who i am ......i go and do things that are so not me.......it makes me wonder ....who am i
Is it the person i believed i was some time ago .......if yes than who is this now.

life feels complete, but somewhere i long for more, more excitement, more beyond the basic life........trust me i long the bad, the dangerous and i know i know its wrong and it will not go far and i will destroy all i have worked so hard for

then why do i still desire it........i guess its my inner voice that refuses to get tame,that know i can be another person, that knows that this life is good but i need to push my self further, feel the pulse of the fast changing universe around me.

but there an other inner voice that says you been there you done that its time to hold the chains and tie them done.......no need to go that road again. Its been traveled on and experienced. LET IT GO.

I wonder if can but i know i will try & try real hard to be the new me. i will lose the shadows that lurk at the bottom of my window sill i will conquer those unchanged desires.i will be me again

As the days go, i have been getting better at my dual jobs, the working mother myths i realise are actually not myths at all. the are true very true.
You have heartaches to leave your child at home when he is sick, when he has a fancy dress, when he is learning something new, the working mother misses it all.
but i am learning to grasp all this and infact understand that priorities are not always easy to set.

but these days of motherhood has taken me way from another area of interest History. Now slowly as a get back to reading i have discovered that aftera distance the love is regrown and better 

my changing prepective towards life.

It's strange how motherhood changes the way you percive life.
how your list of priorities change and you are at the bottom of that list.
Suddenly those unbelievable stories of unfathomable love and sacrifice all make total sense.
Nothing is more important that you bundle of joy.
Though being a mother has its flip side....your personal identity so gone for a toss, small bags and clutches seem like unknown things, peaceful long nights cuddled in you husbands arms are a special teat.
but there are benefits.......your patience doubles, ability to bear pain increases, rock music is now soothing to your ears, the smell of the trash van is sweet, you no longer need sleep for 8 hours to make you feel good 3 hours sounds wonderful.
but the best part is learn to love unconditionally and with no acceptations.
Motherhood is a journey all women must take you come out a better and stronger person. 

As i look into those deep brown eyes,
a million emotions slide by....I feel so many different waves crash me:
even those i never i could never feel,
its like even immortality could not be enough to comprehend.
I feel loved and like loving with and boundries,
I feel like protecting  and protected,
they make me want to sacrifice and i know i will feel good about it,
Those eyes give me special powers and i feel super.
Those deep brown eyes of my son......they make me a new person........

AS I WANDER ALONG THESE ROADS,
I WONDER THE DESTINY THEY REACH,
I PONDER THE FEET THAT WALKED THESE ROADS BEFORE ME & STUMBLED, TUMBLED & FELL,
I QUESTION IF THEY EVER ROSE AGAIN OR VANISHED INFAMY,
OR IF THEY MADE IT BIG, BUT FINALLY GOT LOST IN INFINITY.
MY MANY QUESTIONS ARE A COMPLEXITY,
AND OFTEN I KNOW THEIR ANSWERS MAY NOT SUFFICE MY CURIOSITY .
BUT WITHOUT MY QUESTIONS MY LIFE WILL BE JUST AN EMPTY NECESSITY.
SO AS I WANDER AND PONDER ON MY NEVER ENDING QUESTIONS.....THE REASONS FOR MY EXISTENCE BECOMES CLEARER.
IF NOT TO CHANGE THE WORLD...THERE ARE STILL MANY A REASONS FOR MY EXISTENCE....
FOR EVERY TIME I FALL AND PAIN I STAND BACK WITH REFRAIN.

Rebelle Fleur Lyrics

Rebelle Fleur Lyrics: Rihanna Rebelle Fleur lyrics . These Rebelle Fleur lyrics are performed by Rihanna Get the music video and song lyrics here. chorus prehook i need you in my life you need me in your life oooh baby i can't be without you love & all that stuff won't